PERCEPTION IS REALITY, BUT IS IT? UNRAVELING THE COMPLEXITIES OF PERCEPTION VS. REALITY

We’ve all heard the phrase “perception equals reality” or some derivative of it, right? Well, in “reality,” that phrase is a lie. Perception does not equal reality. If you dive into the definitions of the two words “perception” and “reality,” you will see that reality excludes perception.

• Perception: A way of understanding or interpreting things.
• Reality: The state of things as they actually exist, rather than as they may be perceived or might be imagined.

“Okay, Christelle,” you might say. “But my perception is my reality!” I’m glad you brought that up. What the phrase “My perception is my reality” actually means is this: “My perception is the genesis of my worldview. My perception is the way I believe the world to be. My perception is the basis on which I am going to interact with the world.” Many people interchange the terms “truth,” “fact,” and “belief” because worldview is such a powerful force, which is the reason “truth” can be such a fluid concept in many contentious conversations.

Think of it this way. Perception acts as a lens through which we view reality. Our perceptions influence how we focus on, process, remember, interpret, understand, synthesize, decide about, and act on reality. In doing so, our tendency is to assume that how we perceive reality is an accurate representation of what reality truly is. But it’s not. The problem is that the lens through which we perceive is often warped in the first place by our genetic predispositions, past experiences, prior knowledge, emotions, preconceived notions, self-interest, and cognitive distortions.

Daniel Kahneman, the noted psychologist who received the 2002 Nobel Prize winner in economics, created a veritable cottage industry by identifying what he termed cognitive biases (there are 100s) that are systematic ways in which humans create subjective social reality that deviates from objective reality.

I appreciate that some philosophers argue that reality doesn’t actually exist, but, instead, is a subjective construction because we don’t experience reality directly. Rather, we experience reality through senses that limit how we process reality. For example, humans only see a circumscribed spectrum of colors or hear a defined range of sounds. But, just because we can’t perceive a dog whistle doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist in reality. Thankfully, we have the technology in most situations that can objectively measure reality (of course, disbelievers could argue that reading the instruments requires perception, thus “proving” their point that perception is reality, but let’s not go there).

One immense problem is that no common ground can be found. This disconnect is exemplified in our current political climate where people of different political stripes have such diametrically opposed perceptions that it becomes impossible to orchestrate "proper consensus" or govern. The result is paralysis (Congress) or hostility (hate crimes). Going to extremes, a massive divide between perceptions in a country would likely lead to a slow, but steady, disintegration of the institutions that hold a society together (dystopian themes in literature and film or, well, our world today).

The challenge we face with our own thinking, as well as the thinking of others, is how to ensure that perceptions remain close to reality. This alignment is essential for us to live in the real world, find consensus with others, and maintain the individual, governmental, and societal structures that are necessary for life as we know it to exist. Here are a few tips to keep in mind:

• Don’t assume that your perceptions are reality (just your reality)
• Be respectful of others’ perceptions (they may be right)
• Don’t hold your perceptions too tightly; they may be wrong (admitting it takes courage)
• Recognize the distortions within you that may warp your perceptions (seeing them will better ground your perceptions in reality rather than the other way around)
• Challenge your perceptions (do they hold up under the microscope of reality?)
• Seek out validation from experts and credible others (don’t just ask your friends because they likely have the same perceptions as you)
• Be open to modifying your perceptions if the preponderance of evidence demands it (rigidity of mind is far worse than being wrong)

The next time someone tosses that tired trope—“but perception is reality”—in defense of the indefensible, you stand up and tell them that it might be their perception, but it is not reality.

Instead, we must engage in regular communication, clarifying expectations, and expressing intentions explicitly. On our side, it’s also not enough to assume that others understand what we may be going through, our intentions behind decisions or our expectations; we must not only actively express ourselves and ensure our message is received as intended. This way, we can ensure that our perceptions are grounded in shared understanding and not distorted by assumptions. By maintaining open lines of communication, we create an environment and even a culture where individuals feel safe to express their evolving realities. This fosters growth, understanding, and stronger relationships.

Remember, your perception is not my reality, and vice versa. Failing to adapt our perception of changing circumstances can lead to misunderstandings and strained relationships. It’s important to recognize that perception and reality are not fixed entities; they can evolve and change over time. By maintaining open lines of communication, we create an environment where individuals feel safe to express their evolving realities. This fosters growth, understanding, and stronger relationships.
In reflection I come to share some conclusions that navigating the delicate balance between perception and reality in relationships requires intentional and effective communication. Our perceptions are shaped by our experiences, biases, and beliefs, which can differ significantly from the realities of others. Mindful communication, rooted in empathy and curiosity, bridges the gap, and cultivates understanding.

Remember, effective communication is the key to bridging the divide between perception and reality, ultimately creating more harmonious and connected relationships. By actively expressing ourselves, listening with empathy, and staying open to evolving realities, we can foster understanding, build stronger relationships, and minimize misunderstandings. It’s through these efforts that we can bridge the divide between perception and reality, creating a more harmonious, connected world, along with a greater appreciation for the diverse perspectives that enrich our shared human experience.

Perception Is Not Reality- Just because you think something is reality doesn't make it reality. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-power-prime/201908/perception-is-not-reality?amp&fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR2KAzdG51Ko5E9aAXAS-46_6f3IFIux_dynXYg4F_D06INh7kw9kA9jUec_aem_t2mNbViL_a8JIvk4b7X7aQ